


dealing with the unimaginable

by chickhabit



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: F/F, Post-Series, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 17:33:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5136560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chickhabit/pseuds/chickhabit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do you know who you are? Do you know who you will find? Do you know, do you know?</p>
            </blockquote>





	dealing with the unimaginable

A sweet floral scent filled her nose. The first time she woke up here, the scent was a surprise. 

It was light, playful. Daisies and lilacs and daffodils, as soft and airy as their petals. Her stomach clenched as if she was afraid, but the feeling passed and she forgot it as quickly has it had come over her. 

She arose slowly, enjoying the sensations around her. Grass and petals were a soft cushion to her body and she was happy to lay on them but curiosity got the better of her. She wanted to know what she would see when she opened her eyes.

It was beyond imagining. The sky was a saturated rainbow, every bit as colorful as the flowers that covered the ground. Endless color stretched across the horizon, going on forever. But she was content to say in her patch of grass.

That was where she spent her days. The following mornings were just as awe-filled, though she was no longer shocked by the sensations that surrounded her. Flowers were her friends, her toys, her bed at the end of the day. Color was her constant companion, the lighter, brighter colors keeping her company while she was awake and the full, pigmented colors lulling her to sleep at night.

Nothing ever changed. She didn’t count the days, because she did not see the point. This was all she had ever known and it was where she wanted to stay.

But one day she woke up and things changed. 

It was an inexplicable difference. The sky was the same, so were the flowers. But she had a feeling of anticipation deep in her chest. Something was coming.

Someone was coming.

It happened mid-afternoon, while she was weaving together flowers to make a crown.

“Hello.”

The voice was soft, unobtrusive. She had felt the other person’s presence long before they had spoken. She did not speak but then she couldn’t remember if she ever had.

“That’s very pretty. I used to weave flower necklaces, too.”

She continued to weave. The woman sat in front of her and started to pick flowers for herself.

She did not speak again for a long time.

“Would you like to trade?”

This time the voice started her. She looked up to see the woman holding out her small wreath—too small for her own head but perhaps perfect for another. Carefully, the girl reached out and took it from her hand, placing it around her head. It was a perfect fit, resting on the crown of her head. 

The girl smiled and looked up into the woman’s eyes for the first time. The woman breathed in sharply but held her gaze, her emerald eyes kind. 

“This will match your eyes,” Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. It had been so long since she had spoken… But she had spoken before. Of that she was sure. She stood carefully and she was tall enough to place her crown of flowers on the woman’s head, but only if she stretched her arms up. 

Had she always been so small?

The crown settled on the woman’s head then fell down over her eyes. It was too big. She opened her mouth to apologize, but the woman simply laughed and tugged it to her neck. As she worked to unpin her voluminous hair from the wreath, the girl reached out her small hand to touch the flowers. The light blue and green complimented her dark skin; she had never seen anyone so beautiful. As the woman adjusted her hair, the top of her dress shifted and revealed lighter skin just below the hollow of her throat.

A scar.

Her small fingers drifted to the scar, mesmerized and horrified and—

_Power of Dios that sleeps within me._

She wrenched her hand away. 

_Awaken, and come forth._

Her pink hair tumbled around her as she fell to the ground. Flashes in her mind. Flashes of swords, bells, rings. Roses. 

She curled up on her side, bringing her knees up to her chest. She couldn’t do this. She didn’t want this. She wanted to sleep.

This time when she woke up, she remembered. And she did not wake up to flowers, or the sky.

This time she woke up to a voice.

“No. No, we must let her sleep.”

Silence.

“She needs her sleep.”

More silence. It sounded like a one-sided conversation, but then she heard it. The softest sound, almost like a sneeze. The girl opened her eyes to look for the source. 

She saw the woman tickling a small, oddly shaped animal. Her long purple hair was draped against the ground where she sat propped up on her arm. She was still wearing the flowers around her neck, and her pink hat was on the ground serving as a bed for the small monkey creature.

The creature met her eyes. It made a high-pitched sound and jumped for her. 

“No, wait!” The woman sat up to grab it but stopped when she realized the small girl was laughing. 

“Hello, Chu-chu!” She smiled and lifted the animal off her face. It protested but scurried up her arm and settled happily against her neck. 

So engrossed was she in the small animal, she did not notice the look of shock on the woman’s face. 

“You said his name.”

She met the woman’s eyes, guarded and wary. “Yes.”

“Do you…” A choked sob interrupted her words. Sadness beyond her years filled her voice, and she seemed a thousand years older. Every wrong done to her, every wrong she had done, played through her mind and it was too much. Her body doubled over and she wrapped her arms around her middle, as if she was holding herself together.

“Don’t be sad.” The girl stood and wrapped her arms around the woman’s body. 

They stayed like that for a long time. The girl held the woman while she cried, and the girl felt her pain—and not just metaphorically. She could feel the woman’s scars under clothes, under her hair. The back of her neck was covered in small scars, almost invisible but for how close she was. This time, she did not pull away. She touched the scars lightly with her small hands, running her fingers across each one.

“Please, don’t be sad, Himemiya.” 

The sobs stopped. Eyes filled with tears, Anthy raised her head. “Utena.” She opened her arms to the girl.

Utena fell into them, wrapping her small arms around Anthy’s neck. 

 

“Where will we go, Himemiya?” 

“Wherever we want, Utena.” Utena was skipping ahead of Anthy, but she stopped and turned back.

“I want to see the stars.” She held out her hand. “With you.”

Tears were still falling freely from Anthy’s face. She took Utena’s hand. It was larger now, almost the size of hers. “I will give you the stars.”

Together they walked out of the flowers.


End file.
